The last post was regarding my sweet Carly Jo. She had an awesome tournament and got to serve. This was her first time to serve in club. It was a glorious day for sure. She played and she played a lot. Little did I know that the months following would be somewhat less glorious. Ugh! Instead of going on and on about what a challenge those months were I will just say it to you straight.
The first thing I learned and now know for sure is this. It is way harder watching your daughter warm the bench than it ever was for me to personally warm the bench. In fact I think it was one of the harder things I have ever done. But, instead of being frustrated, mad, angry, pissed, I have chosen to help Carly Jo get better in her sport. You see people she isn't done yet. One half season of volleyball will not define her as an athlete. So we both carry on. I have grown up a little as a mom of an athlete and she has grown up a lot as an athlete. This journey isn't over.
The second thing I learned and now know for sure is this. It is way harder to watch your daughter get her first broken heart than it ever was for me to get my first broken heart. In fact I have decided that although her heart felt like it was shattered into a million little pieces, as her mama, I felt like mine was broken into a trillion little pieces, ran over with a truck, set on fire, put out and set on fire again. Ugh! The pain was too much. The first cut really is the deepest. In my book boys will continue to be bad. The next one that shows up over here better be ready. I will make it crystal clear to that punk that:
1. I don't like you.
2. I will never like you.
3. I am not afraid to go back to jail. (Never been, but he doesn't need to know that.)
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It might just piss the crap out of you though.
The third thing I know for sure is that I love these two girls beyond measure. They are such a blessing. I know they both will come out on top. I know sweet Alex's heart will eventually totally mend. She will find her way. I just know it. She is going to look back on this relationship and go "what was I thinking was I drunk?" (I know I am so thankful for those UNANSWERED prayers from 1987.) I know that Carly Jo has worked her butt off the last 4 months in the gym, on the sand and on the court. She ain't done yet people. The journey begins again tomorrow as she has her first volleyball game of the season. Starting year 5 of volleyball for her. Wow!
All three of us will continue to Show Up And Make It Count! Let the journey continue.
